As this year comes to a close & we get ready to start another one I can't help but to recap all the events of 2011..
I found out I was pregnant on January 2nd, at that moment my life would never be the same. I always knew I wanted kids, I just didn't know when. Having a baby changes everything. I know everyone says that, but you don't really understand WHAT that means until you experience it for yourself. You give up your freedom, your mind, your body. You trade your space & your sleep. You neglect your social life & your spouse. But, what you get in place of all that ... is SO worth it. You get to hold a precious child close to your heart everyday. You get to watch a miracle grow from the start. When that baby wraps its tiny little finger around yours for the first time ... words can't describe that feeling or when it looks up at you & you know that it knows your their mom(or dad), your heart is suddenly filled with warmth & sheer happiness. You act like a kid again at Christmas & instead of showing yourself off, you get to show a beautiful baby off & have people comment on how cute they are. You think more of your family & stop being selfish. You suddenly realize how mean you can be & start being more humble. I could not ever imagine NOT having Alexa ... She is my whole world. When I think if not having her, my heart aches in places I didn't know existed. Being a parent is such an honor & gift.
Alexa Spring <3
"Is happier than a turtle on an escalator" <--- my status on Facebook when I found out :)
2011 proved to be a very hard year, but also the greatest!
I've learned to let go in the year 2011. Letting new arguments dies to save old friendships has been hard, yet rewarding thing for me.I've been friends with Ashley for about 10 years now & over the last 2 1/2 we've had our fair share of what I'll call love spats. . Though we both felt justified in our disputes, we over came those feelings & somehow got past it all & now are getting back to being as close as we once were. Though we may never be the same, we're in a new place, a more honest place & I'm so happy to have her back in my life. When you fight with someone & say hurtful things, you never know that those things may come back to haunt you & the things you say, can never be unsaid. You have to live with those words for the rest of your days. It's a hard thing to change who you are. I've always been out spoken & blunt(I still am for the most part), but this past year I learned to pause for reaction & really think about my word choices. No I can't always say the right thing or know what to say. But I am getting better & for that I am thankful.
Her daughter Addyson(right) with my daughter Alexa(left) <3
There is a 2 1/2 year difference here lol
I'm a born thinker, I read a lot into things & tear things apart to see what stuff means. I over analyze everything & put thought into pretty much everything I say, say, or do. I learned new things about people. I learned that people will use their children as weapons. They'll use them to punish you. Not realizing in the end, the children are the ones who are actually punished. I learned more about what being "GODLY" means. Just because someone goes to church & quotes scripture, daily, does NOT mean a hill of beans if they don't live by it. Hypocrites are everywhere, even in church sadly. I learned with some, you have to REALLY watch what you say. Even if that means biting a hole through your tongue. Although I think some just go around looking for a reason to be mad. I learned that marriage is work & not everyday all day is going to be perfect.
Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won’t they, and then they finally do and they’re happy forever — gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, cause I do believe in it. Bottom line… couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don’t let it take ‘em down.
Brian & I in October 2011.
Est 4/28/09. Some said we wouldn't make it, some said pretty ugly things about us ...
Say what they will, we're still here & going strong. I love him to the moon & back.
After all the time that has passed from the past, I still find people talking about things that "were". Why is still a mystery to me. I don't get it & probably never will. I had a breakthrough moment not to long ago about this & this is what I came up with:
I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as your opinion. Pay attention. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host, Justin Beiber, the Kardashians Oh! And Hugh Jackman. Now, don't take this as a sign of self involvement, I truly do not care an ounce about these things listed above -- NOTE: I care as little about your opinion as I do these things. There are tons of things that aren't hear that I love, that have nothing to do with me such as: chocolate, Christmas, Alexa(that is a given), sarcasm, FACEBOOK(BWAHAHAHA), friends, laughing hysterically at idiocy, rambling, blogs ... you catch my drift. No really, enough with the ranting, I just stopped caring. Though when people say things & post things on Facebook or MySpace about me that has absolutely NOTHING to do with them, still can hurt my feelings, but I've just given up all together with caring. It takes to much energy. There are actually many things in life that I’ve yet to figure out, like why men wear cellphones on their belt when they could so easily fit them in their pocket mere millimeters away. Or why – women wear tube-tops even though every ten seconds they pull them back up. But, of all my endless queries, I will always wonder why people are so judgmental. Why they care so much about things that have nothing to do with their small existence. Why they tend to talk about people & critique their every move, though in the end - now listen up, this is important - it does not affect them nor will it ever play any type of role in their life *sigh* I guess it gives them some kind of self worth to make others feel as small as humanly possible.
With all the bad, I still have so much to be thankful for. I do have some pretty great friends who are there for me every step of the way. Some old :) Some new :) Regardless of the time known, it's about the time spent!
Laurel & I (Friends for a decade!)
Amber holding my baby :) Been friends for years(she is 38 weeks pregnant with her son Koltan here)
At my shower :) Autumn & I have been friends since 6th grade! A whopping 15 years .. I'm old LOL
Jamie & I(She is 17 wks pregnant here with her daughter Ali). I've known Jamie about 4 years I think .. Not great friends at first, but it's funny how time brings you close with people.
Awww, my Summer :) Just after Alexa was born. I love this girl!
Laurel & Lex
So much has happened over this past year. I learned my father was in full liver failure. I've haven't seen my mom Since August of 2010, my brother moved to Kansas for the Army. My other brother & his wife Stevie had a baby girl(just a few months old then Lex!). My grandmother passed away while I was in the last stages of my pregnancy & because I was high risk I could not go with the family to see her, leaving me devastated. I almost lost my baby & my own life on August 15th -- the scariest moments of my life hours before my emergency c-section. I registered for school to finish my Surg Tech degree. My uncle passed away from cancer. We moved into our own house, finally! I gained 60 pounds & lost 55 of it, all in just 10 months. Traveled to Carrabelle FL & to the Bahamas -- both while I was pregnant. Became a mother of a beautiful baby girl August 15th @ 4:27 a.m. Celebrated our first wedding anniversary as new parents. Found some new hobbies & let go of old ones.
Things rarely turn out you think they will & time has a way of surprising you in the end. I couldn't have imagined my life this way 3 or 4 years ago, but now, I can't imagine it any other way.
I don't hate anyone anymore. I'm not holding grudges. I know now that an opinion doesn't make me right, it just means it's my opinion. If someone wants to believe they are right & I'm wrong, it's fine. It won't wreck my world & I'll still wake up the same person tomorrow.
2012 is almost here & my new adventures will begin & I can't wait to see what the future holds for me!
