Another year gone by

As this year comes to a close & we get ready to start another one I can't help but to recap all the events of 2011..

I found out I was pregnant on January 2nd, at that moment my life would never be the same. I always knew I wanted kids, I just didn't know when. Having a baby changes everything. I know everyone says that, but you don't really understand WHAT that means until you experience it for yourself. You give up your freedom, your mind, your body. You trade your space & your sleep. You neglect your social life & your spouse. But, what you get in place of all that ... is SO worth it. You get to hold a precious child close to your heart everyday. You get to watch a miracle grow from the start. When that baby wraps its tiny little finger around yours for the first time ... words can't describe that feeling or when it looks up at you & you know that it knows your their mom(or dad), your heart is suddenly filled with warmth & sheer happiness. You act like a kid again at Christmas & instead of showing yourself off, you get to show a beautiful baby off & have people comment on how cute they are. You think more of your family & stop being selfish. You suddenly realize how mean you can be & start being more humble. I could not ever imagine NOT having Alexa ... She is my whole world. When I think if not having her, my heart aches in places I didn't know existed. Being a parent is such an honor & gift.

Alexa Spring <3

"Is happier than a turtle on an escalator" <--- my status on Facebook when I found out :)

2011 proved to be a very hard year, but also the greatest!

I've learned to let go in the year 2011. Letting new arguments dies to save old friendships has been hard, yet rewarding thing for me.I've been friends with Ashley for about 10 years now & over the last 2 1/2 we've had our fair share of what I'll call love spats. .  Though we both felt justified in our disputes, we over came those feelings & somehow got past it all & now are getting back to being as close as we once were. Though we may never be the same, we're in a new place, a more honest place & I'm so happy to have her back in my life. When you fight with someone & say hurtful things, you never know that those things may come back to haunt you & the things you say, can never be unsaid. You have to live with those words for the rest of your days. It's a hard thing to change who you are. I've always been out spoken & blunt(I still am for the most part), but this past year I learned to pause for reaction & really think about my word choices. No I can't always say the right thing or know what to say. But I am getting better & for that I am thankful.

Her daughter Addyson(right) with my daughter Alexa(left) <3

There is a 2 1/2 year difference here lol

I'm a born thinker, I read a lot into things & tear things apart to see what stuff means. I over analyze everything & put thought into pretty much everything I say, say, or do. I learned new things about people. I learned that people will use their children as weapons. They'll use them to punish you. Not realizing in the end, the children are the ones who are actually punished. I learned more about what being "GODLY" means. Just because someone goes to church & quotes scripture, daily, does NOT mean a hill of beans if they don't live by it. Hypocrites are everywhere, even in church sadly. I learned with some, you have to REALLY watch what you say. Even if that means biting a hole through your tongue. Although I think some just go around looking for a reason to be mad. I learned that marriage is work & not everyday all day is going to be perfect.

Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won’t they, and then they finally do and they’re happy forever — gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, cause I do believe in it. Bottom line… couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don’t let it take ‘em down.

Brian & I in October 2011.

 Est 4/28/09. Some said we wouldn't make it, some said pretty ugly things about us ...

Say what they will, we're still here & going strong. I love him to the moon & back.

After all the time that has passed from the past, I still find people talking about things that "were". Why is still a mystery to me. I don't get it & probably never will. I had a breakthrough moment not to long ago about this &  this is what I came up with:

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as your opinion. Pay attention. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host, Justin Beiber, the Kardashians Oh! And Hugh Jackman. Now, don't take this as a sign of self involvement, I truly do not care an ounce about these things listed above -- NOTE: I care as little about your opinion as I do these things. There are tons of things that aren't hear that I love, that have nothing to do with me such as: chocolate, Christmas, Alexa(that is a given), sarcasm, FACEBOOK(BWAHAHAHA), friends, laughing hysterically at idiocy, rambling, blogs ... you catch my drift. No really, enough with the ranting, I just stopped caring. Though when people say things & post things on Facebook or MySpace about me that has absolutely NOTHING to do with them, still can hurt my feelings, but I've just given up all together with caring. It takes to much energy. There are actually many things in life that I’ve yet to figure out, like why men wear cellphones on their belt when they could so easily fit them in their pocket mere millimeters away. Or why – women wear tube-tops even though every ten seconds they pull them back up. But, of all my endless queries, I will always wonder why people are so judgmental. Why they care so much about things that have nothing to do with their small existence. Why they tend to talk about people & critique their every move, though in the end - now listen up, this is important - it does not affect them nor will it ever play any type of role in their life *sigh* I guess it gives them some kind of self worth to make others feel as small as humanly possible. 

With all the bad, I still have so much to be thankful for. I do have some pretty great friends who are there for me every step of the way. Some old :) Some new :) Regardless of the time known, it's about the time spent!

Laurel & I (Friends for a decade!) 

Amber holding my baby :) Been friends for years(she is 38 weeks pregnant with her son Koltan here)

At my shower :) Autumn & I have been friends since 6th grade! A whopping 15 years .. I'm old LOL

Jamie & I(She is 17 wks pregnant here with her daughter Ali). I've known Jamie about 4 years I think .. Not great friends at first, but it's funny how time brings you close with people. 

Awww, my Summer :) Just after Alexa was born. I love this girl!

Laurel & Lex

So much has happened over this past year. I learned my father was in full liver failure. I've haven't seen my mom Since August of 2010, my brother moved to Kansas for the Army. My other brother & his wife Stevie had a baby girl(just a few months old then Lex!). My grandmother passed away while I was in the last stages of my pregnancy & because I was high risk I could not go with the family to see her, leaving me devastated. I almost lost my baby & my own life on August 15th -- the scariest moments of my life hours before my emergency c-section. I registered for school to finish my Surg Tech degree. My uncle passed away from cancer. We moved into our own house, finally! I gained 60 pounds & lost 55 of it, all in just 10 months. Traveled to Carrabelle FL & to the Bahamas -- both while I was pregnant. Became a mother of a beautiful baby girl August 15th @ 4:27 a.m. Celebrated our first wedding anniversary as new parents. Found some new hobbies & let go of old ones. 

Things rarely turn out you think they will & time has a way of surprising you in the end. I couldn't have imagined my life this way 3 or 4 years ago, but now, I can't imagine it any other way.

I don't hate anyone anymore. I'm not holding grudges. I know now that an opinion doesn't make me right, it just means it's my opinion. If someone wants to believe they are right & I'm wrong, it's fine. It won't wreck my world & I'll still wake up the same person tomorrow. 

2012 is almost here & my new adventures will begin & I can't wait to see what the future holds for me!

Hot Button Topics For Parents With Daughters

Ok, so I have been seeing a lot on the news, Facebook, & other social networking sites about issues with little girls.

Well, I am here today to talk about some of those things & give MY opinion on what I think & also, so gather some information for anyone who is wondering about these hot button topics.

I'll go over: Ear Piercing, Beauty Pageants, Make-Up & clothing choice.

To be fair & fore worn everyone, I am VERY blunt in what I say & you may not like my opinion & that is ok, just beware.

Beauty Pageants:


What is a GOOD age to start allowing your child do them? Do you allow them as babies & start them off young? OR do you let them make the choice at an older age?

Have you seen the show "Toddlers & Tiaras" ... If you have not let me take a moment to fill you in. 3 year olds wearing FAKE boobs, bras & getting spray tans. Fake teeth & hair extent ions. NO respect for their parents & don't even get me started at the MONEY they spend. Wow. Which they could be putting some of that back for the child's education. Here is a link from CNN about the show.

In pageants like this, how can you be PRO pageant? It seriously makes me question people.

 What does it teach them:
Looks are everything
They can have ANYTHING they want
It's ok to disrespect everyone they meet, including their parents
They are better then others
Other things are not important
Teaches them to be shallow(that is a given)
Money .. errr ... it's endless & cost doesn't matter when it comes to pageants & attire
the list is endless.

The "PROS" of a pageant ... of there are any:
Helps them learn people skills(I have a hard time getting that one)
Self esteem builder
Poise
Grace
Present one self in public(if you have seen T&T then this one is NON existent, those kids are terrible in public!

Ok so there is the run down of it all. .. . You may not think there is ANY harm in a simple pageant here & there & maybe there isn't but the risk of what it could potentially do to your child is high & to me it is not worth it.

There is NO way I would let my daughter compete in a pageant under the age of 15. PERIOD. Anything below that is to young. If one day she decides on her own she'd like to enter one, we'll talk about it & make a decision together as a family.


Ear Piercing 

When to do it is the question.

This was an issue on a group that I am in on Facebook, someone asked what everyone thought about it & when a good age was to do it.

My thoughts:

A person should decide for THEMSELVES if they want their body altered. They should be able & ALLOWED to make that choice. Why should someone make that choice for us? Tattoos aren't given until over 18 years old, so why do people think it is ok to go out & pierce up their daughters before they even know where their ears are? I think the child should be able to ASK for it herself.

Someone said in that group "it's not a big deal" ... um YES it is. Everything I do, every choice I make for my child is a big deal. Sad some don't see it that way. Which brings me to the safety part of it:


The official word from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is that parents should wait until their daughter is old enough to care for the ear piercing herself. Plus, the AAP doesn’t recommend you pierce your baby’s ears, since there is a higher risk of an infant accidentally swallowing the tiny earrings.

If you are dead set on piercing a baby’s ears, the AAP recommends that you try to wait until two weeks after your baby has her first tetanus shot (which occurs at two months). So, if you want your baby to have gold studs, wait until she’s at least two months old.

Some pediatricians do recommend that you wait until all rounds of tetanus are given. (Infants are given tetanus shots as part of their regular vaccination schedule at 2, 4, 6, and 15 months old.).

I believe that you decide to pierce your child's ears that early, because "it's cute" or "adorable" ... that is simply vanity on your part. Has  nothing to do with anything else. You want to show off how cute your daughter is by having holes punched in her undeveloped ears. It's that simple.

Some people do it for other reasons besides vanity:


Parents choose to pierce their baby’s ears for a variety of reasons. Some parents pierce their baby’s ears because they believe it’s less painful at such a young age. Others pierce for more practical reasons – It solves gender identification problems in girls. Plus, strangers on the street won’t mistakenly assume a girl baby is actually a boy. The little diamond studs tell it all.


There’s also a cultural element to baby ear piercing. In some cultures or communities, it’s customary for a baby girl’s ears to be pierced. Infant ear piercing may also be a family custom.

For me:

I'll allow Alexa to have hers pierced when she is old enough to ask me herself & appreciate it. I also want it to be something memorable for us to do together, may not seem like a "big deal" to some, but it is to me.

Make-up

Whether or when to let your daughter wear makeup is a highly personal choice that differs among everybody. Many of our fondest memories of childhood include dressing up in mommy’s clothes and shoes and trying out her makeup. We wanted to be just like her. Now your daughter is interested in experimenting with your makeup, and you’re wondering what you should do about it. First of all, consider it a form of flattery. She wants to make herself look beautiful, just like you!

However, one of the most important and often overlooked lessons that you can teach your daughter is that she is already beautiful, just the way she is! These days our daughters are being bombarded with images of plastic “perfection,” in which beauty is classified as one specific look—usually the one that involves collagen.

Many mothers worry that teaching their daughters about makeup will help to perpetuate these myths that women need to look a certain way in order to be beautiful. But if you approach makeup in a sensitive way with your daughter, there’s no reason she can’t have some fun with makeup if she is interested. Young girls should feel free to explore their femininity, playing with makeup and experimenting with hairstyles. Being open with your daughter and encouraging her to explore her femininity can be a healthy way to build self-esteem.

In my opinion, allowing your daughter to wear makeup is fine, but she should never be made to feel that she isn’t pretty enough without it. Here are some tips for helping your daughter enjoy makeup without taking away from her self-image.

The age you ask:

I think 13 is a good age to START to introduce lip glosses & & simple things. Why that late you say, well why would she NEED to wear it before then? Even 13 to me is still very young.

Clothing


As young girls seek to assert their own identities, they are inclined to look to women they admire in pursuit of lifestyles to mimic. Confronted with ambiguous age boundaries and bombarded with popular cultural icons, a sexual pandemic is spreading as fashions trickle down into their closets and cultures. Fueled by influential media and an overly provocative clothing market, today's young females are rocketing into adult behaviors at young ages, and multiple risks are along for the ride.



Some parents raise voices of alarm at this cultural trend of young girls growing up too fast and may seek ideas for guiding their youth to embrace standards they both can agree on. In response to expressions of public concern, the American Psychological Association formed the Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls to research the issue. The task force defined sexualization as the occurrence of one or more of four circumstances: when a person's value comes solely from his or her sexual appeal or behavior; when a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (which is narrowly defined) with being sexy; when a person is sexually objectified; or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.

While some parents express concern over these issues, some are likely to wonder why it is even an issue in the first place. Isn't it OK for their girls to be sexy and hot? Isn't it good for their daughters to be popular and attract boys' attention? What's the big deal? Truth be told, it is a big deal because of the consequences that almost always come hand-in-hand with trying to look sexy and hot at a young age. When a girl focuses too much on her physical appearance, she places her self-esteem, emotional and physical health, academic achievement, and sexual safety on the chopping block. And one of the primary avenues she's taking to the guillotine is found in her everyday media choices.

Ok it's everywhere, media, books, TV, music, advertisements, ...  So how to avoid it?

Be on top of your daughters closet, her friends, her outings. Stay tuned in.

Ok, gotta take a break for now ... whew!

Comments are welcome!

I DO .. Again :)

So ... When Brian & I got engaged we were 600 miles away from most family & friends.

As we took a quick vacation up here to surprise his mom & dad for a quick ceremony & tie the knot, his family suffered an unexpected death. As we were on our way we got the call(I think we were in SC already). So ... We went ahead & finished our trip, but our ceremony was cut out & we eloped at the RC court house. 

With that said, we deserve a wedding ceremony of our own :)

We WANT a ceremony of our own.

So I am throwing some ideas together & starting in the "pre" planning stages of it ...

I have come up with a theme "We were Meant to Bee ..." Reasoning, Alexa is going to be a Bumble Bee this year for Halloween. We want to include her in our vows, as well as make our commitment before God, Fam{ily} & Friends. Our Song "Honey Bee" :) & because we did not postpone our marriage & faith to one another, we just felt it was "meant to be". Anyways, just seems to fit.

We're planning on next Spring, April maybe(though I have not nailed down a actual date YET .. I do have a few in mind) for this shindig to go down, inviting close family & friends.Writing our own vows, ect. 

I have some very specific ideas of what I want, since I've had ample time to think about this it's pretty clear :)

Here are a few of the things I am thinking of.

 Rings tide to a bible instead of a pillow  ... I love this ..

 Pinky promise too "bee" in our vows.

 Honey Jars!

 Simple, elegant, & classy center pieces -- I'm pretty set on this style.

 I love this, by the time it rolls around, Alexa may be big enough to wear something similar :)

 I'm doing this .. With an "L" of course!

 I love this, only we do it with recent photos of us & Alexa & Jezz too :)

PERFECT -- cause we already are Mr. & Mrs.

I want it to be personal. Not commercialized.  I don't need 100's of people there, nor do I want that. I want it simple. Fun. Easy. I don't see why people make these things more then they should be, more like a circus & a show then an actual heartfelt wedding ceremony. 

I have my God, my husband, my daughter. My life is just the way it should "bee" :)