♥ Life as I know it ♥: October 2011

So ... When Brian & I got engaged we were 600 miles away from most family & friends.

As we took a quick vacation up here to surprise his mom & dad for a quick ceremony & tie the knot, his family suffered an unexpected death. As we were on our way we got the call(I think we were in SC already). So ... We went ahead & finished our trip, but our ceremony was cut out & we eloped at the RC court house.

With that said, we deserve a wedding ceremony of our own :)

We WANT a ceremony of our own.

So I am throwing some ideas together & starting in the "pre" planning stages of it ...

I have come up with a theme "We were Meant to Bee ..." Reasoning, Alexa is going to be a Bumble Bee this year for Halloween. We want to include her in our vows, as well as make our commitment before God, Fam{ily} & Friends. Our Song "Honey Bee" :) & because we did not postpone our marriage & faith to one another, we just felt it was "meant to be". Anyways, just seems to fit.

We're planning on next Spring, April maybe(though I have not nailed down a actual date YET .. I do have a few in mind) for this shindig to go down, inviting close family & friends.Writing our own vows, ect.

I have some very specific ideas of what I want, since I've had ample time to think about this it's pretty clear :)

Here are a few of the things I am thinking of.

Rings tide to a bible instead of a pillow ... I love this ..

Pinky promise too "bee" in our vows.

Honey Jars!

Simple, elegant, & classy center pieces -- I'm pretty set on this style.

I love this, by the time it rolls around, Alexa may be big enough to wear something similar :)

I'm doing this .. With an "L" of course!

I love this, only we do it with recent photos of us & Alexa & Jezz too :)

PERFECT -- cause we already are Mr. & Mrs.

I want it to be personal. Not commercialized. I don't need 100's of people there, nor do I want that. I want it simple. Fun. Easy. I don't see why people make these things more then they should be, more like a circus & a show then an actual heartfelt wedding ceremony.

I have my God, my husband, my daughter. My life is just the way it should "bee" :)

As the Summer came to a close & Fall drew near. Thanksgiving & Christmas are just around the corner! Whew!

I have had several things lately on my mind.

Being a mom is HARD! The hardest job a person can ever have.

But at the same time the most rewarding.

Dealing with a baby on a 24/7 basis & having another person depend on you for nearly everything for survival, is exhausting. I can't even explain how exhausting it is.

I have stayed up all night, for nights on end, feedings, diaper changes, crying ...

BUT with that said, when she smiles ... it melts my heart & I realize JUST how lucky I am.

You never really start to live until you have a child. What an extraordinary gift from God.

I can't imagine, being anywhere else in my life. I can't imagine not being married & not having my daughter. Things that mattered before seem to just slip away & you lose focus of all that small stuff. You know, that girl who talks about you, those dumb high school rumors, material things, cars, clothes, going out, partying ... All that stuff that you thought were so important a year or 2 back ... you learn just how meaningless it all really is.

How silly you used to be, how immature you were & just how different life is when you have a real life.

With being a parent comes the choice of many things. Vaccines have been heavy on my mind. Alexa is coming up on her 2 month check up & she is due for an array of vaccines & shots ... which leaves me with the question "What do I do?" . There are SOOO many side effects that come as a possibility when you choose to vaccinate your child. Not every child reacts to them, but some do & some reactions are & can be deadly. So with the risk of NOT getting her vaccinated she runs the risk of contracting a vaccine preventable illness. With choosing to vaccinate her, I run the risk of putting her in danger of having a reaction to them, which could also prove deadly.

With recent findings, I have found that some vaccines have ABORTED FETAL CELLS(yes you read right!!), monkey cells, mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde, MSG, yeast(which a lot of children are allergic too), all of this is found in vaccines we give our kids.

Polio for instance, this has been eradicated in our country for decades! So why are we giving them to our infants.

Why do they insist on giving SO many vaccines at one time?

The H1N1 vaccine has in one does (.5ml) has 24.5 micro grams of mercury in it. For that amount to be safe a person should be 539 pounds! This is a vaccine they give at 2 months -- YES this is true! You ask, well how is it that they allow this if it is not safe? The FDA allows this because they add this to vaccines to keep them from being contaminated or growing bacteria.

a little food for thought: "Every single drug that has ever been recalled by the FDA....Must first have been proven to be "Safe and Effective" by the FDA... - that includes vaccines as well.

So .. with all that said, I still have NO idea what to do. A lot of people say "The risks of not vaccinating are so much worse then not" or "All my kids are vaccinated & are fine" ... that is really easy to say if you hadn't done any research & knew nothing of what could happen to your child if they have reactions to them. But as a parent, I think it IS my job to gather ALL the facts before making a choice that I really don't understand anything about. True she prob will be fine, but there IS a chance that she could be one of those few who have severe side effects.

I'm not wanting to offend anyone who choose to vaccinate, as that is their choice for their child, all I ask is the same respect for me as I try to figure out what is best for mine.

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I've read or am reading several great books about parenting & honestly they have helped tremendously!

Although a few parts of the books contradict each other, sleeping, feeding & the cry it out method.

So we are just trying to figure out where we fall into those categories as parents to Alexa.

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I'm ever so thankful for those who make the effort to be in Alexa's life. She is so innocent & deserves NOTHING but the best & I intend to do everything in power to give it to her.

It makes my heart ache to think she is missing out on certain things. But I know that she is LOVED beyond measure & I will protect her at all costs.

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