Ok, so I have been seeing a lot on the news, Facebook, & other social networking sites about issues with little girls.
Well, I am here today to talk about some of those things & give MY opinion on what I think & also, so gather some information for anyone who is wondering about these hot button topics.
I'll go over: Ear Piercing, Beauty Pageants, Make-Up & clothing choice.
To be fair & fore worn everyone, I am VERY blunt in what I say & you may not like my opinion & that is ok, just beware.
Beauty Pageants:
What is a GOOD age to start allowing your child do them? Do you allow them as babies & start them off young? OR do you let them make the choice at an older age?
Have you seen the show "Toddlers & Tiaras" ... If you have not let me take a moment to fill you in. 3 year olds wearing FAKE boobs, bras & getting spray tans. Fake teeth & hair extent ions. NO respect for their parents & don't even get me started at the MONEY they spend. Wow. Which they could be putting some of that back for the child's education. Here is a link from CNN about the show.
In pageants like this, how can you be PRO pageant? It seriously makes me question people.
What does it teach them:
Looks are everything
They can have ANYTHING they want
It's ok to disrespect everyone they meet, including their parents
They are better then others
Other things are not important
Teaches them to be shallow(that is a given)
Money .. errr ... it's endless & cost doesn't matter when it comes to pageants & attire
the list is endless.
The "PROS" of a pageant ... of there are any:
Helps them learn people skills(I have a hard time getting that one)
Self esteem builder
Poise
Grace
Present one self in public(if you have seen T&T then this one is NON existent, those kids are terrible in public!
Ok so there is the run down of it all. .. . You may not think there is ANY harm in a simple pageant here & there & maybe there isn't but the risk of what it could potentially do to your child is high & to me it is not worth it.
There is NO way I would let my daughter compete in a pageant under the age of 15. PERIOD. Anything below that is to young. If one day she decides on her own she'd like to enter one, we'll talk about it & make a decision together as a family.
Ear Piercing
When to do it is the question.
This was an issue on a group that I am in on Facebook, someone asked what everyone thought about it & when a good age was to do it.
My thoughts:
A person should decide for THEMSELVES if they want their body altered. They should be able & ALLOWED to make that choice. Why should someone make that choice for us? Tattoos aren't given until over 18 years old, so why do people think it is ok to go out & pierce up their daughters before they even know where their ears are? I think the child should be able to ASK for it herself.
Someone said in that group "it's not a big deal" ... um YES it is. Everything I do, every choice I make for my child is a big deal. Sad some don't see it that way. Which brings me to the safety part of it:
The official word from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is that parents should wait until their daughter is old enough to care for the ear piercing herself. Plus, the AAP doesn’t recommend you pierce your baby’s ears, since there is a higher risk of an infant accidentally swallowing the tiny earrings.
If you are dead set on piercing a baby’s ears, the AAP recommends that you try to wait until two weeks after your baby has her first tetanus shot (which occurs at two months). So, if you want your baby to have gold studs, wait until she’s at least two months old.
Some pediatricians do recommend that you wait until all rounds of tetanus are given. (Infants are given tetanus shots as part of their regular vaccination schedule at 2, 4, 6, and 15 months old.).
I believe that you decide to pierce your child's ears that early, because "it's cute" or "adorable" ... that is simply vanity on your part. Has nothing to do with anything else. You want to show off how cute your daughter is by having holes punched in her undeveloped ears. It's that simple.
Some people do it for other reasons besides vanity:
Parents choose to pierce their baby’s ears for a variety of reasons. Some parents pierce their baby’s ears because they believe it’s less painful at such a young age. Others pierce for more practical reasons – It solves gender identification problems in girls. Plus, strangers on the street won’t mistakenly assume a girl baby is actually a boy. The little diamond studs tell it all.
There’s also a cultural element to baby ear piercing. In some cultures or communities, it’s customary for a baby girl’s ears to be pierced. Infant ear piercing may also be a family custom.
For me:
I'll allow Alexa to have hers pierced when she is old enough to ask me herself & appreciate it. I also want it to be something memorable for us to do together, may not seem like a "big deal" to some, but it is to me.
Make-up
Whether or when to let your daughter wear makeup is a highly personal choice that differs among everybody. Many of our fondest memories of childhood include dressing up in mommy’s clothes and shoes and trying out her makeup. We wanted to be just like her. Now your daughter is interested in experimenting with your makeup, and you’re wondering what you should do about it. First of all, consider it a form of flattery. She wants to make herself look beautiful, just like you!
However, one of the most important and often overlooked lessons that you can teach your daughter is that she is already beautiful, just the way she is! These days our daughters are being bombarded with images of plastic “perfection,” in which beauty is classified as one specific look—usually the one that involves collagen.
Many mothers worry that teaching their daughters about makeup will help to perpetuate these myths that women need to look a certain way in order to be beautiful. But if you approach makeup in a sensitive way with your daughter, there’s no reason she can’t have some fun with makeup if she is interested. Young girls should feel free to explore their femininity, playing with makeup and experimenting with hairstyles. Being open with your daughter and encouraging her to explore her femininity can be a healthy way to build self-esteem.
In my opinion, allowing your daughter to wear makeup is fine, but she should never be made to feel that she isn’t pretty enough without it. Here are some tips for helping your daughter enjoy makeup without taking away from her self-image.
The age you ask:
I think 13 is a good age to START to introduce lip glosses & & simple things. Why that late you say, well why would she NEED to wear it before then? Even 13 to me is still very young.
Clothing
As young girls seek to assert their own identities, they are inclined to look to women they admire in pursuit of lifestyles to mimic. Confronted with ambiguous age boundaries and bombarded with popular cultural icons, a sexual pandemic is spreading as fashions trickle down into their closets and cultures. Fueled by influential media and an overly provocative clothing market, today's young females are rocketing into adult behaviors at young ages, and multiple risks are along for the ride.
Some parents raise voices of alarm at this cultural trend of young girls growing up too fast and may seek ideas for guiding their youth to embrace standards they both can agree on. In response to expressions of public concern, the American Psychological Association formed the Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls to research the issue. The task force defined sexualization as the occurrence of one or more of four circumstances: when a person's value comes solely from his or her sexual appeal or behavior; when a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (which is narrowly defined) with being sexy; when a person is sexually objectified; or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.
While some parents express concern over these issues, some are likely to wonder why it is even an issue in the first place. Isn't it OK for their girls to be sexy and hot? Isn't it good for their daughters to be popular and attract boys' attention? What's the big deal? Truth be told, it is a big deal because of the consequences that almost always come hand-in-hand with trying to look sexy and hot at a young age. When a girl focuses too much on her physical appearance, she places her self-esteem, emotional and physical health, academic achievement, and sexual safety on the chopping block. And one of the primary avenues she's taking to the guillotine is found in her everyday media choices.
Ok it's everywhere, media, books, TV, music, advertisements, ... So how to avoid it?
Be on top of your daughters closet, her friends, her outings. Stay tuned in.
Ok, gotta take a break for now ... whew!
Comments are welcome!
Well, I am here today to talk about some of those things & give MY opinion on what I think & also, so gather some information for anyone who is wondering about these hot button topics.
I'll go over: Ear Piercing, Beauty Pageants, Make-Up & clothing choice.
To be fair & fore worn everyone, I am VERY blunt in what I say & you may not like my opinion & that is ok, just beware.
Beauty Pageants:
What is a GOOD age to start allowing your child do them? Do you allow them as babies & start them off young? OR do you let them make the choice at an older age?
Have you seen the show "Toddlers & Tiaras" ... If you have not let me take a moment to fill you in. 3 year olds wearing FAKE boobs, bras & getting spray tans. Fake teeth & hair extent ions. NO respect for their parents & don't even get me started at the MONEY they spend. Wow. Which they could be putting some of that back for the child's education. Here is a link from CNN about the show.
In pageants like this, how can you be PRO pageant? It seriously makes me question people.
What does it teach them:
Looks are everything
They can have ANYTHING they want
It's ok to disrespect everyone they meet, including their parents
They are better then others
Other things are not important
Teaches them to be shallow(that is a given)
Money .. errr ... it's endless & cost doesn't matter when it comes to pageants & attire
the list is endless.
The "PROS" of a pageant ... of there are any:
Helps them learn people skills(I have a hard time getting that one)
Self esteem builder
Poise
Grace
Present one self in public(if you have seen T&T then this one is NON existent, those kids are terrible in public!
Ok so there is the run down of it all. .. . You may not think there is ANY harm in a simple pageant here & there & maybe there isn't but the risk of what it could potentially do to your child is high & to me it is not worth it.
There is NO way I would let my daughter compete in a pageant under the age of 15. PERIOD. Anything below that is to young. If one day she decides on her own she'd like to enter one, we'll talk about it & make a decision together as a family.
Ear Piercing
When to do it is the question.
This was an issue on a group that I am in on Facebook, someone asked what everyone thought about it & when a good age was to do it.
My thoughts:
A person should decide for THEMSELVES if they want their body altered. They should be able & ALLOWED to make that choice. Why should someone make that choice for us? Tattoos aren't given until over 18 years old, so why do people think it is ok to go out & pierce up their daughters before they even know where their ears are? I think the child should be able to ASK for it herself.
Someone said in that group "it's not a big deal" ... um YES it is. Everything I do, every choice I make for my child is a big deal. Sad some don't see it that way. Which brings me to the safety part of it:
The official word from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is that parents should wait until their daughter is old enough to care for the ear piercing herself. Plus, the AAP doesn’t recommend you pierce your baby’s ears, since there is a higher risk of an infant accidentally swallowing the tiny earrings.
If you are dead set on piercing a baby’s ears, the AAP recommends that you try to wait until two weeks after your baby has her first tetanus shot (which occurs at two months). So, if you want your baby to have gold studs, wait until she’s at least two months old.
Some pediatricians do recommend that you wait until all rounds of tetanus are given. (Infants are given tetanus shots as part of their regular vaccination schedule at 2, 4, 6, and 15 months old.).
I believe that you decide to pierce your child's ears that early, because "it's cute" or "adorable" ... that is simply vanity on your part. Has nothing to do with anything else. You want to show off how cute your daughter is by having holes punched in her undeveloped ears. It's that simple.
Some people do it for other reasons besides vanity:
Parents choose to pierce their baby’s ears for a variety of reasons. Some parents pierce their baby’s ears because they believe it’s less painful at such a young age. Others pierce for more practical reasons – It solves gender identification problems in girls. Plus, strangers on the street won’t mistakenly assume a girl baby is actually a boy. The little diamond studs tell it all.
There’s also a cultural element to baby ear piercing. In some cultures or communities, it’s customary for a baby girl’s ears to be pierced. Infant ear piercing may also be a family custom.
For me:
I'll allow Alexa to have hers pierced when she is old enough to ask me herself & appreciate it. I also want it to be something memorable for us to do together, may not seem like a "big deal" to some, but it is to me.
Make-up
However, one of the most important and often overlooked lessons that you can teach your daughter is that she is already beautiful, just the way she is! These days our daughters are being bombarded with images of plastic “perfection,” in which beauty is classified as one specific look—usually the one that involves collagen.
Many mothers worry that teaching their daughters about makeup will help to perpetuate these myths that women need to look a certain way in order to be beautiful. But if you approach makeup in a sensitive way with your daughter, there’s no reason she can’t have some fun with makeup if she is interested. Young girls should feel free to explore their femininity, playing with makeup and experimenting with hairstyles. Being open with your daughter and encouraging her to explore her femininity can be a healthy way to build self-esteem.
In my opinion, allowing your daughter to wear makeup is fine, but she should never be made to feel that she isn’t pretty enough without it. Here are some tips for helping your daughter enjoy makeup without taking away from her self-image.
The age you ask:
I think 13 is a good age to START to introduce lip glosses & & simple things. Why that late you say, well why would she NEED to wear it before then? Even 13 to me is still very young.
Clothing
As young girls seek to assert their own identities, they are inclined to look to women they admire in pursuit of lifestyles to mimic. Confronted with ambiguous age boundaries and bombarded with popular cultural icons, a sexual pandemic is spreading as fashions trickle down into their closets and cultures. Fueled by influential media and an overly provocative clothing market, today's young females are rocketing into adult behaviors at young ages, and multiple risks are along for the ride.
Some parents raise voices of alarm at this cultural trend of young girls growing up too fast and may seek ideas for guiding their youth to embrace standards they both can agree on. In response to expressions of public concern, the American Psychological Association formed the Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls to research the issue. The task force defined sexualization as the occurrence of one or more of four circumstances: when a person's value comes solely from his or her sexual appeal or behavior; when a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (which is narrowly defined) with being sexy; when a person is sexually objectified; or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.
While some parents express concern over these issues, some are likely to wonder why it is even an issue in the first place. Isn't it OK for their girls to be sexy and hot? Isn't it good for their daughters to be popular and attract boys' attention? What's the big deal? Truth be told, it is a big deal because of the consequences that almost always come hand-in-hand with trying to look sexy and hot at a young age. When a girl focuses too much on her physical appearance, she places her self-esteem, emotional and physical health, academic achievement, and sexual safety on the chopping block. And one of the primary avenues she's taking to the guillotine is found in her everyday media choices.
Ok it's everywhere, media, books, TV, music, advertisements, ... So how to avoid it?
Be on top of your daughters closet, her friends, her outings. Stay tuned in.
Ok, gotta take a break for now ... whew!
Comments are welcome!
