A Baby On The Way ...

Yes you see it right! I'm expecting!

I just wanted to share with those of you who keep up with my blog my exciting news & how we found out :)

My mother when she was age had ovarian cancer & had some other issues. I was so positive that I was NOT pregnant that it was something else.

After work one day me & my wonderful husband brian went to the CVS, I just wanted to rule out pregnancy so I could move on to another answer. I took the first test around 3 p.m. in the day. Which those of you who have ever been pregnant know that is always best to test EARLY in the morning because the HCG is not as strong in the afternoon & can sometimes give you a false negative. Well I knew this but I took it anyways.

We waited  ... the FULL 2 minutes LOL. Even though sometimes it shows up instantly.

We both at the same time saw the + sign in the window ... It was SHEER shock.. I was so sure I was right.

I mean how did this slip by me? How could I have not known lol.

I was in such shock, I started laughing ... then the tears came. But they were tears of joy -- it was sheer happiness. I can't describe that feeling you get when you first learn about your pregnancy.

I was kind of in disbelief so I decided to take another test about 2 hours later. As soon as I took it I looked at it. It was positive.

I made a doctors appointment right then, because I wanted to confirm it for sure.

The following day I went to the doctors & it was confirmed, I was in fact pregnant & I my expected due date was August 30th 2011.

A lot runs through your mind when you learn about pregnancy. You start thinking of names :) Which I must say is so much fun. You start thinking of nursery ideas & themes. You start noticing a lot of things about your body, that you would normally dismiss.

You start thinking of what kind of parent you will be. What your child will look like... Tons of things are running through your mind. It's just a wonderful feeling & thing to get to experience.

This was DEF unplanned & was a surprise -- but the BEST gift the Lord has ever given me & I feel more blessed than I ever have. I have the GREATEST husband, a blessing on the way, great family & AWESOME friends. A relationship with God that makes all this possible. What more could I ask for?

Thank You, Jesus!

Speaks Volumes ... Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days ....

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent

There's some things you can't speak of
But tonight you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent



I love some Taylor Swift :)

I love you, Brian ... ♥

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me
ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me
ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
oh when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

I will carry you ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o

 

I think I have problems ... But my troubles are just passing ones. I've never endured something like this. Knowing what the ending was going to be...

 

Thank you Lord for humbling me today.

 

 If you've not yet, I encourage you to read the blog behind this .. Bring the Rain or Audrey Caroline ... It's touching & beautiful.

 

The song "I will carry you" was written for this child by her mother & father. Her father, Todd, is a member of the band Selah. 

This song means something to me, I think of God carrying me through the hardships & long after the cradle years & through the long roads ahead. But if He brings me to it, He WILL bring me through it.

Amen,

When you realize your blessed...

After struggling with the weeks heartache & becoming immune to harsh words & comments by others I went on to my weekend.

I had 3 shoots to do(a wedding & 2 maternity sessions).  Saturday was like any other. I arrived at the church to start shooting the befores. I realized while shooting the bridesmaids in the bridal suite, that I was truly meant to do this. It came so natural. With the posing & the laughing with them, it was very clear to me.

I was so excited to be apart of that. The church was a BEAUTIFUL place setting.. The prettiest church I had ever been too. It was breathtaking. I REALLY felt the Lord there.  The ceremony was kind & loving & honest.

I didn't know if it was the fact that this was my FIRST church wedding or the fact that I had, had a rough week, but I really felt blessed to be there.

There were no words of hate, no judging, no hypocrisy. It was real honest worship before the Lord.

I no I have never been the perfect Christian, or the perfect follower. But I know that God made me imperfect just like He did everyone else.

While I had my head bowed in prayer for the Lord, it dawned on me that people who claim to be Follower's of Jesus Christ were in fact the very ones throwing stones & gossiping. But I wasn't upset with their childish, radical behavior. Because I knew, that they aren't perfect either. So I overlooked it. Although it hurt & cut deep into my heart, there was nothing to be done, nothing to say. It also dawned on me to forgive those who participate in such things & to pray for them. As they needed it more than I. Finding that place where, your ok with words & actions of those imperfect others takes a while. You can't go looking for it. You have to become ok with yourself & understand that not everything is meant to be understood.

I was so excited to get home & look at what I might have gotten on camera :) After looking through a bout 20 of the 500 I took, I realized, wow -- these really are good! Thank you Jesus!! 

Waking up for my maternity shoots -- I was nervous. I had never done one before & wanted to do a great job. Having doubts about my gift & it was meant for me to be doing this, well those fears were slowing disappearing. I had been paid for the weeding & was about to make the rest of my paycheck doing what I love. The wedding was the same as I requested in price. I was happy with that :)

After getting done with the first shoot, we were walking back to the cars & they asked me if I preferred cash -- I of course replied yes. They handed me the money & left. After they drove away I was on the phone with my husband & thumbed through the cash & realized they had given 50 dollars over the amount I was expecting. What a wonderful surprise. My 2nd shoot was for a very dear friend of mine & couldn't have been happier to be apart of this with her! After having a great shoot, talking & catching up I followed them to the ATM. Brian handed me two 5 dollar bills to give them back for change. As I walked up to the window we spoke for a moment & she handed me some folded money. I went to give her the two 5's & she said no no, you keep it & then I thumbed through the money she had given me & much to my disbelief she had given me another 50 dollars over the price of the shoot. I was shocked, again! Tears welled up in my eyes as I asked why? She just simply said we want to do that for you, it's your Sunday & you worked hard & we had a great time. 

As they drove away after we said our goodbyes, I felt so very blessed, this was the Lord taking care of me & reaffirming me that this was what I was meant to be doing & that he was going to take care of me. He wasn't going to let me fall. 

When you realize how blessed you really are, everything else just seems to fade away. You go somewhere new, where you feel worth while again & pieces of your soul slowly start coming back. You meet people, regardless of the length of time you known them, you know you have a friend in them, that God has placed them in your life for a reason & removed the others for reasons as well.

Reminds me of a video I was once showed(a few years ago) by a woman had been involved in some of the gossip towards me. It a video by a Church who performs Lifehouse's Everything Skit. A touching & powerful video which has been ringing true to me these last few days. I have felt the way the girl in the video has, I've also been saved by the Lord & he has never let go of my hand. Despite my flaws & my imperfections He still loves me ♥ It's just ironic how things work out.

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

 

No matter what people say or what they do, I am still me & I am blessed. 

Cyber Bullying & All It's Glory

Believe it or not, kids are not the only victims of cyberbullying. Adults can just as easily become prey to vicious internet attacks. Cyberbullying involves anyone who is targeted maliciously through any form of electronic access. Cyber bullies are simply cowards because they get to hide behind their hurtful words and anonymous user names. You'd think your high school days were behind you, along with all of the immaturity and hurtful teasing. Unfortunately, the www has a way to take bullying to the next level. The following steps will give you some tools in fighting against this faceless form of bullying.

There are adult groups dedicated to harassing and defaming others as well, along with websites created online specifically to make fun of and demean individuals. These people can be found in communities linked to blogs, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and chat rooms and sometimes they use the disguise of “anonymity” to harass their prey. Sometimes, these bullies will take their online squabbles offline and press people online to harass their prey's family and friends. Sending emails or making calls. Making true & untrue comments about private information. Anything to demean the other person.

***THE LAW***

Perhaps in response to news reports of teen suicides blamed on embarrassing and/or insensitive web postings, I have been fielding a fair number of calls about North Carolina’s cyberbullying statute. The statute, G.S. 14-458.1, was enacted in 2009 and applies to offenses committed on or after that date. S.L. 2009-551, sec. 3.

Subsection (a) sets out the elements of the offense. A person is guilty of cyberbullying when he or she uses a computer or computer network to do any one of the following things:

(1) with the intent to intimidate or torment

(a)       builds a fake profile or Web site;

(b)       poses as a minor in an Internet chat room or electronic mail or instant message;

(c)       follows a minor online or into an Internet chat room; or

(d)       posts or encourages others to post on the Internet private, personal, or sexual information

(e)       plants any statement, whether true or false, tending to provoke or that actually provokes any             third party to stalk or harass

The offense is a Class 1 misdemeanor if the defendant is eighteen or older at the time of the offense. G.S. 14-458.1(b). If the defendant is under eighteen, it is a Class 2 misdemeanor. Id. The statute provides for discharge and dismissal of charges against defendants under eighteen, in certain circumstances, and for expunging the record if discharge and dismissal is ordered. G.S. 14-458.1(c)

A snapshot of some of my experience with Cyber Bullying.

 

I'm not sure if it can be well read here or not. But if you can read the text -- the message is pretty clear.

I've also got many emails & other comments that I have saved that is defaming my character & slandering my name. This goes back to the middle of last year so it's a pretty hefty amount of things. Taking action against this type of thing will be a lengthy process, but it can & will be done.

I took this snapshot to try & raise awareness about this. I want people to know that this sort of behavior is going on. Of course I have smuged out the names of these individuals.

Raise awareness about this!

How to try & prevent this:

1. 1
   Cyberbullying involves posting mean comments, spreading rumors and lies, and humiliating or attacking someone without their consent. If you want to stop this malicious behavior in it's tracks, don't forward hateful emails or content to your friends. Forwarding this type of information will feed into it.
2. 2
   If you receive a hurtful and harassing form of electronic content toward another person, whether you know the person or not, reply to them and let them know cyberbullying is hurtful. Explain to them that the person being attacked could easily be a close friend or family member and that you're pretty sure their loved ones would be outraged; not to mention the person being attacked. Some say it's best not to respond to the bully since that's exactly what they want. This may be true, however if you respond only once to everyone receiving the email from the cyberbullying, reminding them they are causing more harm by forwarding the hurtful email on, it might send a strong message.
3. 3
   Block, report, and flag any and all content by a cyber bully. This sends a strong statement that you won't condone this type of  behavior, nor can your sense of right and wrong be penetrated by feeding into it for the sake of a good laugh. Adults are just as vulnerable as teenagers when it comes to cyberbullying. They too will second guess themselves and assume they are a joke. No one is immune to the effects of cyberbullying, not even adults.
4. 4
   Sometimes, if you're lucky, you may be able to click on the cyber bully's user name and find a link to some of their information. This information may include their website and even place of work. If a cyber bully feels they have a right to victimize and humiliate a perfectly good stranger, I don't see why that perfectly good stranger can't write a letter to the cyber bully's place of work and let them know what type of person they have employed at their business by informing them of their cruel cyber bully activities. Letting their place of work know they will be losing future business until the employee in question is no longer a part of their establishment might send a message.
5. 5
   When you deal with cyberbullying, you need to look at the deeper root of the issue and realize that the bullies are simply trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let them have the control by overreacting. Instead, find a way to fight back in a calm and focused manner.
6. 6
   There are great online resources you can go to find helpful information in dealing with cyberbullying such as the National Crime Prevention Council. Finding or even creating a support group of people who have experienced cyberbullying can be a great outlet, not to mention a positive way to brainstorm ideas to prevent cyberbullying and promote these ideas in local schools and places of work.
7. 7
   Pressure your government by writing your congressmen to put in place protective measures toward victims of cyberbullying. Suggest ideas that will enforce accountability to those who threaten or harass others online.
8. 8
   Cyber bullies rarely think of the consequences of their actions. Often they will assume there aren't any consequences due to the anonymity of the internet. Little do cyber bullies know, there are ways to fight back and bring them down. Whether it be through filing a complaint through the website or blocking their destructive actions through email, there are ways to make their bullying much more difficult. Stay strong and stand up to the cyberbullying cowards of the internet!
9. 9 Contact the authorities! Don't let it go unnoticed! Some states have laws against this & it is punishable.

*LoVe* He is here for me when I need him ...

I will love you ...

I will be yours until the end of time ...

Bright like the sunshine that beams from the sky is your smile.

 You make me smile ...

God has blessed me with you ...

 The "HOLLYWOOD KISS"

 What the Lord sees when he looking down upon us...

Never to be left alone again ...

He's taller than me ♥  

You may not know why I love him or why he loves me, but it's not for understanding..

I would walk anywhere with you ...

Love has no fear.