After struggling with the weeks heartache & becoming immune to harsh words & comments by others I went on to my weekend.
I had 3 shoots to do(a wedding & 2 maternity sessions). Saturday was like any other. I arrived at the church to start shooting the befores. I realized while shooting the bridesmaids in the bridal suite, that I was truly meant to do this. It came so natural. With the posing & the laughing with them, it was very clear to me.
I was so excited to be apart of that. The church was a BEAUTIFUL place setting.. The prettiest church I had ever been too. It was breathtaking. I REALLY felt the Lord there. The ceremony was kind & loving & honest.
I didn't know if it was the fact that this was my FIRST church wedding or the fact that I had, had a rough week, but I really felt blessed to be there.
There were no words of hate, no judging, no hypocrisy. It was real honest worship before the Lord.
I no I have never been the perfect Christian, or the perfect follower. But I know that God made me imperfect just like He did everyone else.
While I had my head bowed in prayer for the Lord, it dawned on me that people who claim to be Follower's of Jesus Christ were in fact the very ones throwing stones & gossiping. But I wasn't upset with their childish, radical behavior. Because I knew, that they aren't perfect either. So I overlooked it. Although it hurt & cut deep into my heart, there was nothing to be done, nothing to say. It also dawned on me to forgive those who participate in such things & to pray for them. As they needed it more than I. Finding that place where, your ok with words & actions of those imperfect others takes a while. You can't go looking for it. You have to become ok with yourself & understand that not everything is meant to be understood.
I was so excited to get home & look at what I might have gotten on camera :) After looking through a bout 20 of the 500 I took, I realized, wow -- these really are good! Thank you Jesus!!
Waking up for my maternity shoots -- I was nervous. I had never done one before & wanted to do a great job. Having doubts about my gift & it was meant for me to be doing this, well those fears were slowing disappearing. I had been paid for the weeding & was about to make the rest of my paycheck doing what I love. The wedding was the same as I requested in price. I was happy with that :)
After getting done with the first shoot, we were walking back to the cars & they asked me if I preferred cash -- I of course replied yes. They handed me the money & left. After they drove away I was on the phone with my husband & thumbed through the cash & realized they had given 50 dollars over the amount I was expecting. What a wonderful surprise. My 2nd shoot was for a very dear friend of mine & couldn't have been happier to be apart of this with her! After having a great shoot, talking & catching up I followed them to the ATM. Brian handed me two 5 dollar bills to give them back for change. As I walked up to the window we spoke for a moment & she handed me some folded money. I went to give her the two 5's & she said no no, you keep it & then I thumbed through the money she had given me & much to my disbelief she had given me another 50 dollars over the price of the shoot. I was shocked, again! Tears welled up in my eyes as I asked why? She just simply said we want to do that for you, it's your Sunday & you worked hard & we had a great time.
As they drove away after we said our goodbyes, I felt so very blessed, this was the Lord taking care of me & reaffirming me that this was what I was meant to be doing & that he was going to take care of me. He wasn't going to let me fall.
When you realize how blessed you really are, everything else just seems to fade away. You go somewhere new, where you feel worth while again & pieces of your soul slowly start coming back. You meet people, regardless of the length of time you known them, you know you have a friend in them, that God has placed them in your life for a reason & removed the others for reasons as well.
Reminds me of a video I was once showed(a few years ago) by a woman had been involved in some of the gossip towards me. It a video by a Church who performs Lifehouse's Everything Skit. A touching & powerful video which has been ringing true to me these last few days. I have felt the way the girl in the video has, I've also been saved by the Lord & he has never let go of my hand. Despite my flaws & my imperfections He still loves me ♥ It's just ironic how things work out.
No matter what people say or what they do, I am still me & I am blessed.
