FaLL In L 0 V 3

 Life is what's good, ya dig?

Me & my girl :)

 

 

 

Choices, parenting & my job as a mom

As the Summer came to a close & Fall drew near. Thanksgiving & Christmas are just around the corner! Whew!

I have had several things lately on my mind. 

Being a mom is HARD! The hardest job a person can ever have.

But at the same time the most rewarding.

Dealing with a baby on a 24/7 basis & having another person depend on you for nearly everything for survival, is exhausting. I can't even explain how exhausting it is.

I have stayed up all night, for nights on end, feedings, diaper changes, crying ...

BUT with that said, when she smiles ... it melts my heart & I realize JUST how lucky I am.

You never really start to live until you have a child. What an extraordinary gift from God.

I can't imagine, being anywhere else in my life. I can't imagine not being married & not having my daughter. Things that mattered before seem to just slip away & you lose focus of all that small stuff. You know, that girl who talks about you, those dumb high school rumors, material things, cars, clothes, going out, partying ... All that stuff that you thought were so important a year or 2 back ... you learn just how meaningless it all really is.

How silly you used to be, how immature you were & just how different life is when you have a real life. 

With being a parent comes the choice of many things. Vaccines have been heavy on my mind. Alexa is coming up on her 2 month check up & she is due for an array of vaccines & shots ... which leaves me with the question "What do I do?" . There are SOOO many side effects that come as a possibility when you choose to vaccinate your child. Not every child reacts to them, but some do & some reactions are & can be deadly. So with the risk of NOT getting her vaccinated she runs the risk of contracting a vaccine preventable illness. With choosing to vaccinate her, I run the risk of putting her in danger of having a reaction to them, which could also prove deadly. 

With recent findings, I have found that some vaccines have ABORTED FETAL CELLS(yes you read right!!), monkey cells, mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde, MSG, yeast(which a lot of children are allergic too), all of this is found in vaccines we give our kids.

Polio for instance, this has been eradicated in our country for decades! So why are we giving them to our infants.  

Why do they insist on giving SO many vaccines at one time?

The H1N1 vaccine has in one does (.5ml) has 24.5 micro grams of mercury in it. For that amount to be safe a person should be 539 pounds! This is a vaccine they give at 2 months -- YES this is true! You ask, well how is it that they allow this if it is not safe? The FDA allows this because they add this to vaccines to keep them from being contaminated or growing bacteria.

a little food for thought: "Every single drug that has ever been recalled by the FDA....Must first have been proven to be "Safe and Effective" by the FDA... - that includes vaccines as well.

So .. with all that said, I still have NO idea what to do. A lot of people say "The risks of not vaccinating are so much worse then not" or "All my kids are vaccinated & are fine" ... that is really easy to say if you hadn't done any research & knew nothing of what could happen to your child if they have reactions to them. But as a parent, I think it IS my job to gather ALL the facts before making a choice that I really don't understand anything about. True she prob will be fine, but there IS a chance that she could be one of those few who have severe side effects.

I'm not wanting to offend anyone who choose to vaccinate, as that is their choice for their child, all I ask is the same respect for me as I try to figure out what is best for mine.

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I've read or am reading several great books about parenting & honestly they have helped tremendously!

Although a few parts of the books contradict each other, sleeping, feeding & the cry it out method.

So we are just trying to figure out where we fall into those categories as parents to Alexa.

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I'm ever so thankful for those who make the effort to be in Alexa's life. She is so innocent & deserves NOTHING but the best & I intend to do everything in power to give it to her.

It makes my heart ache to think she is missing out on certain things. But I know that she is LOVED beyond measure & I will protect her at all costs. 

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I thank GOD everyday for my happy marriage, my healthy daughter & my never ending blessings he has so kindly bestowed on me .... 

Stay tuned until next time ...

♥ Alexa Spring ♥ 2 months

Almost 2 months old!!

She has the cutest lil personality :)

I'm going to drool on you!

Another day in paradise

Life as a mom & house wife may not be all that grand to some but in the grand scheme of things -- it's the worlds BEST gift from God.

Besides our health, wealth & general lively hoods, being a parent is one thing some may never get to experience.

Growing up, you never realize what life will be like outside mom & dad. You never really "get it". Once you hit a certain age/maturity level things start to become a little more clear, they did to me anyways :)

Meeting Brian at 115 pounds & as wild as they come, I never though in a MILLION years 2 1/2 years later I'd be his wife, the mother of his 2 month old daughter & 40 pounds heavier(the heaviest I've ever been no less) & playing house everyday. I was one of those, gotta be cute all the time gals & anyone who knows me, knows what I am talking about. Now I'm trading my high heals for comfy shoes, my trendy clothes for discount shopping & sleep for late night feedings & rocking my baby. But with all that I have given up, I have gained SO much.

I didn't know men like Brian(my wonderful husband) even exsisted. I didn't know they could be s kind, loving & gentle. Don't get me wrong HE IS the man of our house, besides the Lord :) He runs our household & I respect him, but he puts me first, which is something I never knew... I had always been second, to friends, trucks, mothers, there was always something that came before me in every relationship I had ever been in & this time it was different.

Daily duties of a housewife ... wow they never end! Laundry, dishes, dusting, taking care of the kids, the pets, paying bills, making life livable more or less -- it's a never ending cycle. People don't give stay at home moms enough credit LOL. It aint easy to say the least, but we have a special gift ;) I applaud any mother who can with stand the housewife title & REALLY do it. It's easy to go to work & leave all the home troubles & chores behind you, to get a break from the little ones & all that, it takes MAJOR strength to do what we do, in my opinion. Babies require round the clock care, crying, feeding, changing, entertaining ... whew it can be exhausting!

Everyday I thank God for all he has given me, which brings me to the qoute "What if you ONLY had today what you thanked God for yesterday?"

So at night I ask the Lord, for just one more day in paradise ...

What kind of mama are ya?

I've been watching people & how they parent their children & it's interesting to me to see all the different styles. I'm still learning where I am at on the totem poll, but it's more clear every day what kind of parent I am. 

I can already say that I am NOT on of those mothers who can never spend a second alone without my little munchkin. I like to have some "me" time. I think it is NEEDED. I want to be a good mother, but I also don't want to lose myself in diaper changing & bottles. I still want to be me, if that make any kind sense. I've noticed that some people can only talk about is poop or nursing, or baby related stuff. YES, I love my child, but hey, I like music! And I like movies, my dog, a good jog through town, going to dinner, writing, coloring, ect. I have plenty to talk about & it doesn't always involve Alexa. She is my world, yes, but that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy other things. I see some mama's talking about how their kids are angels & the perfect baby ... come on, really? Who bys that crap? No baby is perfect. I don't care what you say. I HATE it when they make light of how hard being a new mom is, because all they can say is "my baby is such a good baby" my baby sleeps all night" "my baby never cries" "my baby ....." What new mom who is struggling to survive & not go insane wants to hear that? Ummm ... NOT me! If it weren't for a select few who actually can admit it's hard, I may have just been hauled off to the looney bin, cause I would have lost it if I were the only one suffering the newness of a newborn.

My maternal instincts are pretty good I think. I am not to over bearing, but I do have my moments.  I don't smoke. I don't want people who do smoke to smoke around my child. She hasn't made the choice to smoke so she shouldn't have to suffer through that, right? I don't like for people to touch her, well, strangers of course, but come on if your hands are dirty wash em! Are ya sick, don't breathe on her! Geez! 

It's funny when someone who hasn't held a baby in a while thinks they are cracked glass & if you aren't carefull ..waaaa ooohhh watch out -- she might shatter! lol. Babies are actually pretty hearty little things! 

Another annoying thing ... the "know it all" mother. She is that one who has opinions & thinks everyone should agree with her & if ya don't well be prepared to be on her crap list & to offend her indefinitely! Met a few of these moms in some groups on FB .. Have to say, was not impressed & honestly, they didn't come off wise & knowledgeable, they came off moronic & painfully annoying.

The "hurry up & grow up" moms kill me.

I wish I had more of a childhood than I did. I do .. I don't want Alexa to grow up .. just yet.

I want her to enjoy her childhood, play with dolls & dress up. Get dirty & trample through my flower bed & make soup with make-up in the toilet. Draw on the walls & have imaginary friends .. Isn't that what being a kid is about? Why do some moms want to rush it? From watching bad t.v. shows & movies to shoving soda & junk in their faces. Where are the veggies & juice? How bout cartoons & Disney?  Why are they so eager to have them learn to read at 2 years old? Or start learning another language ... I know this day & time things move a super sonic pace, but where did the times go that when you were a kid, playing & take naps were about the only things on your agenda? **Sigh** Maybe I am just one of a kind.

I'm enjoying motherhood to no end & it only gets better everyday, don't get me wrong it's hard. By far the hardest thing I have ever done, but the reward it priceless. Life is not complete without being a parent. Having a baby is a blessing that not everyone will get to experience & I am so lucky that God picked me to be Alexa's mother, that he trusts in me that much to give me such a great gift!

**Alexa Spring**

 

Wondering who took these photos? :)

I took them! I hate to be bias .. but my baby is the most beautiful thing on Earth! 

My road to Motherdood ♥

As I prepared for motherhood, nothing could prepare me for what was ahead.

I was having a planned C-Section for a condition that I had, that would not allow me to give birth naturally. As we went forward & waited the arrival of our little angel on the 16th of August, things were falling into place :)

On the 13th, I was having some back pains & wasn't feeling good. I called the doctor & of course they assured me I was fine. I knew something was wrong, or different. The night of the 14th I had some light spotting & with P. previa I knew that was not good, so I went into the ER & was seen at the birthplace, I was checked out & sent home ... Again I knew something was wrong. I was in labor.

About 1:30 that morning, my eyes popped open & I thought to myself, my water just broke. I was only 37 weeks to the day. I nugged Brian & told him "I think my water broke" turn the light on. As he turned on the light to my horror .. It was blood & it was everywhere. Calmly I got out of bed & walked to the bathroom to get a towel. I got my purse, my phone & we jumped in the car & called 911, the hospital & the in-laws. I was in full labor & The baby was coming! Only I can't have her naturally ... So what now?

We met the ambulance in Bostic & the Paramedic was wonderful. He calmed me down, my blood pressure was throught the roof(probably due to my stress) it was 189/169. I could feel it, all I could say to him, was "I don't feel good" ... " I don't feel good" ... Once we got to the hospital I was rushed right into the the birthplace, they called the OR team & the doctor in & started preping me for an emergency c-section.

Alexa Spring Lawson was born 4:27 a.m. August 15th 2011.
At 6pds 10oz & 19inches long, this little princess has changed our world!

I was NOT ready, I was supposed to have one more day to prepare! No bags, no camera, no clothes .. NADA. So of her birth, there aren't many photos .. sadly :(

Brian's family was so wonderful -- they were there to make sure I was ok & the baby was safe  ♥

Brian got to come into the OR & watch our baby be born, he was so sweet. Although I don't remember much about the operation, I remember his face & I will never forget that. After recovery I was wheeled into my room & all I wanted was to hold my girl ...

As I looked down at her sleeping so peacefully, I just thanked God that I was alive, if He hadn't woke me up, I could have lost my daughter & my life .. I could have bled to death in just a few hours. I am so thankful for her, for my husband, my family .. for all the blessings in my life! Thank you, Jesus!

Nothing in this world worth having comes easy.

Now, taking care of a newborn is hard, taking care of a newborn AFTER surgery! Omg ... it's so hard. The pain ... I can't even begin to desribe that pain. They tell you "you'll be sore" they don't tell you that you feel like your dying from the pain!

The first few nights are the hardest, you think you'll just keel over from no sleep.

But it's gets better!

I love waking up with her in the early morning hours & putting her in the bed beside me & just watching her sleep. Watching her smile & feeling her little heartbeat next to mine. Laying her on my chest & thinking how can I ever be any happier  ♥

There is NO greater love. No animal, car, house, dimond ring, or amount of money can replace that feeling ... I love my husband more than words & we have this beautiful little girl, how can anyone NOT believe in God, when miracles like her exsist? How can anyone think their life is complete without experiencing this kind of love?

Thank you Brian Lawson for giving me so much, I love you!!

After pregnancy life is wonderful! I'm down 30 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks & have a little more to go! :)